The Company Men

So it’s likely that I won’t start my new job until the end of July/ early August and as much as it is paining my bank balance at least I can use the time to brush up on my lit review and report writing skills..you know the ones I pretended to be so proficient at during my interview…little does she know I ain’t done shit like that since my uni days which were AHHHHHH 10 fracken years AGO. Still with a few weeks up my sleeve I thought I had time to reinvent myself into project worker Enid but alas I am going to be put to the test a little sooner than expected as I found a surprise email in my inbox today from my new Manager suggesting I come in to meet the team and go out for a coffee with so we can discuss project ideas and research etc. All good things for a normal person but in Enid’s mind it’s one big clusterfuck. I think this woman has got the wrong idea about me…

I think the reason for this is my interview happened just before my trip to America so I kind of didn’t give a shit. Once I finished the written test there were only three rather simple questions to answer and becauase I have already worked for this area of the health department as a counsellor I had a lot of back ground knoweldge… anyway to cut things short it was a Fluke I don’t really care interview and in my 30 minutes of misplaced confidence I came across as an ideas woman… I ain’t no ideas woman, I’m the person who comes up with a response to a question on the bus ride home, or at least that’s how it worked at Uni, to ensure I got the 10% participation mark during tutorials I would simply repeat a slight variation of something someone else had said.. or repeat what the tutor had said previously or when faced with an extreme situation drop out of the class entirely and enroll in the same unit as an online student and use the exact same methods as I just mentioned but with the soothing buffer of a computer screen, username and 4am postings while intoxicated from the sweet nourishment of a can of UDL and a bowl of easy mac. I am all about the gloss about not really about the content and follow through… I spent more time huddled in the Murdoch computer lab with Mark thinking of brilliant titles for our essays rather than focusing on quality of context, that was an afterthought.

Plus going for coffee with people in Mount Lawley always brings up my issues, like sitting at those tiny tables, encrouching on other peoples space, that fact that I don’t know anything about coffee and all those fandangle new ones like Latte’s….what is a latte? I don’t know, and don’t even get me started on ordering tea for two or tea for one, high tea. I grew up in a home where my mum added water to milk cause she said it was too strong but I swear it was just to stretch its use out. Oh and not to mention it is the scene of my one brief moment of conscious perfection…I sat in a coffee shop, Il Sotto if I remember correctly cautiously boasting with my friend about the fact that we both had partners and things were coming up roses only to find ourselves simultaneously dumped less than two weeks later, we had to flee the city and burn break up emails by the creek. You see this kind of rambling? this is also another thing I’m scared of, if I get to comfortable in a situation I can go from 0 to highly inapproriate in about a second. What if I start telling her stories like this? Arghhhhhh.